I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
