Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
