The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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