you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
