That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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