I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
