I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
