maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Randomize
