I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
