No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
