i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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