I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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