My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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