nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
