Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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