I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
