You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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