Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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