Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
