I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We're too hungover to prance.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
