Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
