I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we're making bets on your personal life
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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