oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
