did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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