If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
