Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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