I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
