It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Text me some of your sweat
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
