I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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