I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
