I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
