He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
