if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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