The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
