3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
