only if we run a train.
done.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
