We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
