If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Randomize
