"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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