Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
