is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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