so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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