physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
