Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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