yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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