lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
