So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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