so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
