hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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