either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
