We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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