I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
